mind sludge: how soda and meat affected my mind through childhood

When I was younger, I struggled with a faulty memory. In high school I never have the interest and barely had the capacity to read a book, much less remember it. I could not keep my mind focused enough to read one page of a text book, without my mind wandering. I always turned in homework and extra credit and still had to cheat on tests to keep a B average. Learning was never fun.

As the years passed, I found my interests growing, my thirst for knowledge growing and a genuine basic understanding of simple things growing at large rates; and I could even retain some of this information. There are three major shifts in my life that I associate with catalysts for the improvement in my memory and basic intellect, those things are: college, quiting soda, and becoming a vegetarian.

In junior year of high school, I remember procrastinating all winter break, giving myself only 48 hours to read the entire book of the Grapes of Wrath. The test the next day was a majority of our grade, and I was already struggling with sub par scores. The memory sticks out like a glowing orb, because reading the Grapes of Wrath was painfully difficult for me, the pain was followed by an empowering sense of accomplishment, which was immediately followed with a feeling of actual enjoyment. I literally thought, in reference to reading an entire book, “I may want to do that again someday.” Pretty pathetic I know, but I realize now that my habit of eating, junk food and non existent sleep was starving my brain. In retrospect I am lucky to have done as well as I did.

During this time, when my eating was the worst and drinking soda was at its all time high (even despite the fact that as a cross country runner it was forbidden from our diet), I struggled in every class; except art. A good indication why I am a visual artist today. In high school geography I cheated on tests by writing the first letter of each country or state or body of water on my hand starting from the left side of the map to the right side of the map. By having the first letter of each answer, it helped me pull good scores on tests that I would have easily failed otherwise. My failsafe was writing the letters on my hand or shoe, where all I had to do was rub the area and the letter would dissappear, which was made easier by the fact that my hands were always sweaty when I cheated. In math and Spanish I would constantly bring tests up to the teacher and ask for assistance or to help understand a problem, prodding for clues into the correct answer. Much of my high school school day was spent trying to manage my ways into good grades without actually learning anything, for the prospect of actually learning seemed almost impossible.

College, while emotionally difficult, eventually opened my eyes to a new style of study. While I struggled with similar memory issues from my childhood, I made headwind in essays, research and group projects. I actually began to enjoy learning, even in classes which did not involve art; although my art classes still remained my favorite. At my fourth and final year at Winona State University, I finally realized that I: had the ability to learn anything, to make my own decisions, to be confident or shy, to be smart or dumb, and decide who I wanted to be. Again, it seems quite improbable that such simple basic truths took me 22 years to understand and grasp, but it is the truth. Not one year after college I was having art shows in my apartment, and I even went out got my drivers license, which represented my independence.

Creativity and motivation have been two areas that I have always excelled in, although neither could be effectively pointed in any certain direction. In fact, it was quite obvious that my creativity and motivation would be on something other than the primary objective, regardless of what the objective was. In grade school I designed and drew thousands of my own trading cards, copied them, and sold them to neighbor kids for loose change. In high school, when I should have been studying, I was up all night writing fictional wrestling shows on the Internet. Anytime I tried to apply myself to school or homework my eyes glazed over and my mind shut off. In college I was able to effectively put my motivation and creativity into my art classes, and learned everything from intaglio prints, to welding and plaster poring. For the first time in my life, my assets had aligned with my primary objective. It was during this time, it became clear I could use those skills in areas other than just art. My grades improved slightly and I graduated with a 3.52 GPA.

When I was 25, I had just begun a small business airbrushing murals on automotive vehicles. It was during this business leap, that I decided that drinking soda had to stop. I had been researching high fructose corn syrup for a while, thanks to hints mainly from my mother, and despite my severe addiction to the drink; I went for it. After quitting soda I had severe headaches for a week, and cravings that still show up on occasion today. Predicting such a response, I had set up a system up juice, tea and natural soda to buffer my transition. I am now a devoted tea drinker and am very happy to have given up soda. The idea to make this change was a direct result of the independence I gained from college; I did not want to be addicted to something proven to be bad for me and I was dedicated to change. Not long after this change did I find my capacity for new information began to increase, I began reading books, doing research on the Internet and giving myself homework assignments.

The homework assignments, often based on immortality research, and my new relationship to my girlfriend named Kelsey, led me strait to vegetarianism. Kelsey and myself went to protest the RNC convention in St. Paul, Minnesota in 2007 when a fellow protester handed her a pamphlet on ethical choices. Needless to say she was a vegetarian by that night and after staying up all weekend watching a documentary called Earthlings, a documentary about the inhumane treatment of animals, I was a vegetarian three days later. After all of my research on meat eating I truly felt like I had no choice. Since then I have written multiple papers and blogs on why one should quit eating meat. With just a little research and a two hour movie I had developed a terrible guilt about eating meat and the choice made me a more healthy person. Little did I know it would also greatly effect my memory and knowledge.

I still miss the taste of meat, but I did not have the withdrawals the way I did when I quit drinking soda. Quitting meat was incredibly easy for me, I have developed a great interest in cooking now and I have found a love for new foods like beans, curry, spices, and vegetables of all kinds. The decision basically obliterated my consumption of fast food, which was another positive side effect of becoming a vegetarian.

In high school, or even in college, there is no chance that I would have sat down on my own time to write a short essay about my personal experiences with my memory and diet. Like the one you are reading now. You could argue that my progress is part of a natural process of getting older and having experiences that accumulate into a vault of knowledge; however I can guarantee that my mind has been effected greatly by my diet. College built the blocks for an inquisitive mind, and soda and meat kept my mind dormant for the first 20 years of my life. I often wonder how my life would be different if I never ate meat, and never drank soda. I do believe that each person is different, and meat in certain situations can be beneficial in ones diet. I stand by the health and ethical reasons for being vegetarian, and all young people should make a great effort in finding learning systems which allow each individual person to find a joy in learning. Meanwhile, everyone should avoid partially hydrogenated oils and high fructose corn syrup, which can be found in junk food and soda. Make this a day to give up something that is bad for you, and stick to it.

struggling with work

i struggle with creativity;
not for the lack of it
but for deciding what ideas
to take from idea to reality
with the limited time i have


the poem above, I wrote at work, trying to figure what to spend my night working on. I have many theories of the meaning of life, and I do believe we are meant to be creators and problem solvers. I think the majority of the jobs in this country are pointless and mundane, leaving us all too drained to pursue hobbies, studies, or art.

I feel guilty each day I do not do something creative, and guilty even when I do create; because I am never sure if it was the right thing to spend my time on. It is a tragic system of disappointment in life. Having said that, I am extremely positive and optimistic and downright excited about the future.

I cannot wait to work on my next project, or learn new information. I do wish to avoid doing work for other people and avoiding distractions which entertain me without enriching me. There is a constant battle between artist and the modern world. Every generation the battle is different, but it is always there. I am just happy to be fighting for creativity and trying to convince others to do the same.

Make a creativity pledge to yourself. Create.

Bacteria is driving us around like cars

The more research I do on bacteria and their impact on our lives as humans, the more I am convinced of their importance. Bacteria may have been the driving force in evolution on this planet, the reason we think certain things, and maybe even the reason the planet and the universe exists in the first place.

I have learned a lot about how good healthy bacteria spread from mother to son, or mentor to student, or friend to friend has a deep impact on how the two people grow. Most bacteria are constantly growing in intelligence and learning from its surroundings.

If anyone has more information on studies about bacteria or germs I would love to hear them.

Meanwhile, I plan to wash my hands with only water, and never use shampoo or take any medicine. I plan to host great bacteria inside my body!

Fly Date (science fiction story)

by william hessian
written thursday oct 22, 2009

Chone stood before his world unimpressed. The spirals, arches, curves and forms that create beautiful and exotic towers of silver, seemed dull to him. The hidden passageways, staircases leading to dead ends, and mysterious forms that protruded from odd places had become expected in his eyes.

Chone stared particularly towers a single doorway, connected by an arching bridge of angles and steps. From the doorway came Lybecca, his wife and lover. Chone allowed a small smile to cross his face as he walked to meet his partner halfway across the bridge. From their they walked down multiple passageways, down bending slopes and under skinny ornamental arches. Each time Chone blinked the sky would change colors; slowly changing from a brilliant red to a subdued purple, and eventually turquoise clouds began to roll in. Chone and Lybecca stopped inside of an inverted silver dome, surrounded by uneven pillars, which were the beginnings of angled arches that spanned up and over the cities of other silver structures. The view of the sky was unobstructed and perfectly framed. Chone sat in front of a table. Two tabs were sitting on the table. Lybecca did not sit.

“Come sit” said Chone impatiently.

“I'd rather not. I'd prefer to contemplate the sky, tonight,” said Lybecca.

“Tonight we fly with our minds,” said Chone motioning to the tabs on the table, “We are birds together. A tandem flock. Why contemplate the sky when we can fly in it?”

“I would enjoy using my mind, instead of escaping it, as we normally do. Tomorrow, I will fly with you.”

“Why not tonight? Come sit. Do not make me fly alone. It is sad to fly alone.”

“Why make me fly against my wishes? It is sad to fly against my wishes.”

“Fine,” Chone said turning his back to her abruptly, “I'll fly alone.”

He put both tabs into his mouth. Chone blinked for a moment and two more tabs appeared before him. His eyes began to fill with resentment. Lybecca's eyes filled with guilt. She walked to his side. Lybecca reached for a tab.

Chone looked up at her, “What are you doing?”

“I don't want you to be alone,” she said.

The splendor of the silver city, which made no sound around them, was quickly lost in the exploration of their minds. Chone and Lybecca took tab after tab of drugs, designed to open your mind like a flower and allow your spirit to roam within the constantly moving subconscious. Chone's plea for company during this trip is rarely possible. Lybecca's experience with the drug is quite exclusive to her own mind, as is Chone's experience in his mind. As they lie face to face on the ground starring into each others eyes, their minds rarely pay attention to anything their eyes see. Only for brief moments reality set in and Chone or Lybecca realized that they were lying together, and as one did notice the other did not. The other one usually looked comatose and paralyzed, drooling, slightly cross eyes or moaning odd moans. If it was not for the need to re supply the drug or simply restart the flowering of the mind in a new spot, it would seem there would be no need for reality at all.

Hours passed, Chone resupplied tabs to his tongue, Lybecca did the same, tabs went in, minds went out. As the cycle continued, Chone found himself waking to different colored skies, new smells in the air, and even gusts of wind in a variety of temperatures. As the trip continued, memory began to let go of all communication with the mind, and only briefly and intermittently does Chone recognize Lybecca standing above him, being surrounded by swinging snakes and seagulls of endless blinking colors, slamming his knee into the motionless face of his lover, dropping gigantic sparkles from millions of miles in the air only to catch them at the bottom and become engulfed in them, ripping flesh, climbing into a cavity in his own ankle and looking out at gears of water, laughing as his own spit was spiraling in the air, furry infestations found under other furry infestations...

Like so many times before, Chone woke face down on the soft gray floor of his silver city. Every surface was made of rigid sturdy silver materials, while holding tight forms remained soft to the touch and cradled the weight of a human body in any position. Chone had vomited a pool of clear liquid which was a normal side effect when taking tabs in abundance, and taking tabs in abundance was a pattern Chone chose. Tiny beautiful flowers were budding in the pool of vomit. The pool of vomit was actually very pleasant, as the drug was designed to induce clear ordorless vomit which grew fragrant flowers. Chone sat up in a daze and lifted himself to his feet, he stretched and smiled. Chone spun around to find not far from his delicate flowers and pool of vomit, was a pool of his lovers blood. Lybecca's face was mushed. She was obviously lifeless. Sound continued to be silent.

Chone begins to cry, but turns his body around stopping his emotions.

“She's just a clone. Just a clone,” Chone said shaking his head in disapproval of his own actions. Chone begins walking up a ramp, away from his wife. He closes his eyes. Immediately, the back of his eye lids prompts a navigation of options as he begins to build a new world, he selects a new Lybecca and with a blink of his eyes he restarts again in a city made only of feathers and flooded with the glorious sounds of an ocean harp.

(all rights are reserved by the author)

Bacteria controls our lives

A few months ago, I read an article in SEED magazine (one of my favorite magazines) that talked about how interconnected we are to the bacteria in our bodies and minds. Bacteria is infused with our chemistry, and play vital roles in our physical health, mental health, decision making and all other crucial areas of our lives. If you explain to someone what makes us human, one could make a great argument that all of those human traits are controlled, at least in part, by bacteria.

The article explained how cultures of bacteria are extremely diverse from one spot on our body to another. Simply studying the bacteria on the skin of your elbow, and comparing it to the skin of your forearm, you can learn a lot about how diverse and varied the bacteria is. Bacteria is absolutely crucial to keeping us alive. Scientists are finding all sorts of new unknown bacteria in our bodies each year.

Human-Bacteria Hybrid
Upon searching for more information about bacteria in our bodies, and bacteria in the world I have found great articles explaining how we are as much bacteria as human, and therefore should be considered human-bacteria hybrids. If you google it, you will find some great information backing up this idea.

We are the Universe
The thing that keeps popping up in my head as I learn more about bacteria and its relationship to us, is that it seems we are the universe for bacteria to live within. Similar to us and our planet, if we as humans abuse the planet, the planet has the ability to change climates to make living on it unsustainable, thus killing us off. When we have bacteria that is making us sick, our body temperature rises to kill off the bacteria.

I plan to write more about this, as I learn more about it.

Food Poisoning List is Scare Tactics

This report 'make you sick foods' makes me sick. By highlighting the fact that some very healthy foods can make you sick, I think it is serving as a scare tactic to keep people from eating healthy, natural, unprocessed foods.

A better way to label this list would be foods that should be washed. I am pretty sure a majority of the healthy eating crowds wash their food before they put it into their mouth. It takes two seconds to rinse off vegetables, which is a lot quicker than waiting in the drive thru line waiting for the heart attack sandwich and plastic fries. I think articles like the one on health dot com can be very detrimental to our society, as obesity climbs to new heights or new pant sizes.

I think this type of article is also very misreported, as other news sources pick it up and mention the article it slanders the very foods that are essential in our diet. The food we need to be eating, the foods we can grow ourselves. I heard about this article on a talk show (probably Conan O' Brien) when flipping through the channels, and thought it was a ridiculous claim altogether. The actual article is probably factually correct, but puts emphasis on negatives and emphasizes the bads instead of the goods.

Veggies are good! Pass it on!

Would you space travel?

If we had the ability to colonize other planets, produce livable conditions on entirely new worlds, would you want to go?

News has just broken that there is water on the moon and water on mars, which means there is chance for life in a lot more places then we initially thought. I wonder if our technology will allow for the robotic colonization of planets with limited human involvement. I can imagine kids driving mining ships by remote, like a video game, into new worlds to collect valuable minerals and materials. How many universal ethical questions do we need to ask before we could make that decision? Has the choice already been made for us?

We have watched science fiction become science reality, and now we need to be asking ourselves: where does the human race goes from here? Especially as the economical climate is so volatile.

When surveying the imbalance of power and resources I find myself rethinking my essay on the rich and powerful going underground. I originally felt that a small minority of leaders were saving materials to go underground in efforts to survive whatever disaster may be on the way, but I now think it may be an effort to escape into space. I know it sounds far
fetched, but I do think it is worth considering.

If someone in a black suit approached you tomorrow, and asked you if you wanted to go into space to start a new life on a new planet....would you do it? You could bring 1 other person, and would never return to earth.....would you do it?