Monday, December 6, 2010
growing trees into healthy relationships
The last few weeks I have had some really deep probing and healing conversations with some very special people. Having these very introspective soul searching talks always reminds me of my childhood; spending hours and hours talking with my mother, Lori, about life, death and everything in between. The people I respond to the most are people that are passionate, and learners. I have been blessed to find a handful of these people in Unity, Maine. If you read my last few posts about the move to maine or breaking up with my girlfriend, you may be clued into a lot of the things that are on my mind recently.
During a conversation tonight I used this metaphor for relationships:
dont just be two trees growing next to each other
grow new branches together
I have seen so many couples who grow up together on their own, and I find that so many trees end up growing away from each other in order to spread their branches. The end of my last relationship was a great example of two people who grew a lot together during the relationship, and while our physical bodies intertwined, our minds were growing branches that pushed each other away. Somehow in places that I thought we were intertwined as people, we were simply growing really closed together.
We are now in the process of replanting ourselves, grooming ourselves and plugging our roots deep into new soil, with new tree friends. The romantic in me is so excited and scared to begin touching leaves with new trees, I find myself wanting to be intertwined. However, I need to remind myself that trees do not fly, and that I should be very cautious of where I grow and make sure I have what I need to grow strong. I need to respect the rooting process.
I realize I am going really far with this metaphor, however, I find the imagery to be helpful to me when thinking about my future. Today, I am a tree.
I am so excited to meet new people and refocus my life in the direction I really want to go in. Three years ago, when I first started dating my ex-girlfriend, I was a very different person. As sad as it is to say goodbye to a person I have cared so much about, I feel good to be turning my attention to myself for a while. Hopefully I will many more conversations that will help lead me figure out where I go next.